In what can only be described as one of the most bizarre and unexpected transfer developments of the year, SK Sturm Graz’s outspoken owner, Dieter Kronsteiner, has announced his intention to sign the streaker who interrupted Manchester United’s recent Premier League clash — calling the incident “a show of fearlessness and passion sorely missing in modern football.”
The Premier League match, which was being broadcast live to millions, came to a halt in the 73rd minute when an unidentified man stormed the pitch wearing nothing but a cape with “Free Football” written across it. The streaker managed to evade security for a full minute, dodging several stewards with surprising agility and even nutmegging one of them, to the amusement of fans both in the stadium and online.
Speaking at a press conference this morning in Graz, Kronsteiner stunned the Austrian media with his unexpected declaration.
“Football needs characters — not just athletes, but symbols,” he said. “This man showed bravery, pace, and footwork. If he can do that against Manchester United security, imagine what he could do on the pitch for us.”
SK Sturm Graz, currently competing at the top of the Austrian Bundesliga and preparing for European qualifiers, is known for unconventional tactics and risk-taking under Kronsteiner’s leadership. The club’s media team confirmed they have already made contact with the streaker, whose identity is yet to be officially confirmed, but is believed to be a semi-professional futsal player from Greater Manchester.
While FIFA and UEFA regulations prohibit non-registered players from participating in official matches, Kronsteiner appeared unfazed.
“We’ll register him. We’ll train him. If we can’t use him in matches, he’ll be our new mascot. But I promise you — he will be wearing a jersey next time, not just a cape.”
The football world now waits in anticipation — and confusion — to see whether SK Sturm’s latest stunt turns into a signing for the ages or remains an audacious PR masterstroke.
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